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Babylon Mummers Play Script 2001 - 2002

(...approximately...)

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Room

Here comes I, Bold Roomer, pray give me room to enter,
For I have bought some sport to while away the winter;
An old act, a new act, an act that was never acted before,
Since I left my poor old grey-headed grandfather down at my old back door
If you do not believe what I say,
Walk in old Father Christmas and boldly clear the way.

Father Christmas

Here comes I, old Father Christmas,
Welcome or welcome not;
I hope Old Father Christmas will never be forgot
Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you do not believe what I say,
Walk in my son, Turkish Knight, and boldly clear the way

Turkish Knight

Here comes I that Turkish Knight,
Just come from that Turkish land to fight;
If King George do meet me here,
I will try his courage without fear.

King George

Here comes I, King Gorge,
With my glittering sword and spear;
I fought the dragon boldly and brought him to the slaughter,
But `twas thus I gained the fairest maid of all, the King of Egypt's daughter.

Turkish Knight

I pray, King George, do not make so bold,
If thy blood is hot, I will soon make it cold.

King George

My blood is hot as any fire,
And so cold as any clay,
And with my glittering sword and spear,
I'll take thy life away.

Turkish Knight

Thee and I will a battle try

King George

If I conquer, thou must die

[They fight. Turkish Knight is killed]

 

Thy first son, Old Father, is dead
Call in thy second son Marshalee, that champion whom I dread.

Marshalee

Here comes I Marshalee,
I am the man who will conquer thee;
My head is lined with iron,
My body is lined with steel,
I will fight thee, King George,
If it is not against thy will.

King George

If it's not against thy will, Marshalee,
Or yet against thy might
If thou could'st fight against King George,
Then draw thy sword and fight?

[They fight. Marshalee is killed]

 

Thy second son, Old Father, is dead
Call in thy third son, the Valiant Soldier, that champion whom I dread.

Valiant Soldier

Here comes I, that Valiant Soldier,
Slasher is my name;
With sword and pistol by my side
I hope to win the game

King George

Thee and I will a battle try.

Valiant Soldier

If I conquer, thou must die.

[They fight. Valiant Soldier is killed]

King George

Thy third son, Old Father, is dead
Call in thy last son, Cutting Star, that champion whom I dread.

Cutting Star

Where is King George, that champion bold?
If his blood is hot, I will soon have it cold.

King George

Here am I, King George. I am come here,
And will try thy courage without fear.

Cutting Star

Here comes I, the Cutting Star
Just come from that dreadful war;
I have fought many a battle with the French,
And come to encounter thee, King George, so bold

King George

Thee and I will a battle try

Cutting Star

If I conquer, thou must die.

[They fight. Cutting Star is killed]

Little Johnny Jack

Hold thy hand, butcher, and kill no more,
For I fear for their poor wives and families.

Father Christmas

What wild moans and wild groans are there in the field of battle!
Is there a doctor to be found
Can rise these dead men from the ground,
And have them for to stand?

King George

Yes, Father, there is a doctor to be found
Can rise these dead men from the ground
And bring them for to stand

Father Christmas

Doctor! Doctor! Doctor!
You had better call him, King George.

King George

I will warrant he will answer to my first call. Doctor!

Doctor

Oh yes! Father, there is a doctor to be found
Can rise these dead men from the ground
And have them for to stand.

Father Christmas

What canst thou cure?

Doctor

I can cure the itch, the stitch, the palsy, and the gout,
All pains in, and all pains out,
And if the devil is in thy sons,
I will quickly pull him out.

Father Christmas

What's thee fee?

Doctor

Fifty pound, Father.

Father Christmas

What's say, half-crown?

Doctor

Fifty pound, Father.

Father Christmas

I ain't got so much money as that.

Doctor

I can't do it no less

Father Christmas

Never a trifle less at all?

Doctor

Fifty pound is my fee,
But ten less, I'll take of thee.

Father Christmas

Try thee skill.

Doctor

I have a little bottle by my side, called the dicky-whip
I put a drop to each soldier's heart,
Rise! Champions, rise! and all pay your part.

Little Johnny Jack

Here comes I, little Johnny Jack with my wife and family at my back.
Some are here and some are at home
I'm afeard they'll all be starved before I can come
With a pocket full of money and a belly full of beer
I hope you all had a merry Christmas, and I
Wish you all a happy New Year.
Ladies and gentlemen our play is ended
Our money box is recommended
Copper or silver or gold if you can
On whatsoever you give there is no ban.

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